#i know day 1 is gone
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
achaotichuman · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tamlin and his brothers
This is an analysis of Tamlin's relationship with his lost brothers. For Day 1- Prompt: Heir of Spring
Tamlin's brothers are two unnamed characters that we see very little of, but here is what we know from mentions of them.
Both of them are older than Tamlin.
They are cruel and belittling towards him, in a similar manner the Vanserra brothers are cruel towards Lucien.
Both of them wanted for the throne, enough that Tamlin knew if he took on the High lord's power, they would kill him.
They went along with their father to kill Rhysand's sister and mother. In revenge, Rhysand melted both their brains in their skulls.
That is about all we know of them, and they are never otherwise mentioned.
It is very interesting when we talk about these two characters, for simplicity I will refer to them as the names I gave them in my fiction A Court of Song and Desolation, Baile (the eldest) and Aletris (the middle).
When the reader thinks of Baile and Aletris it is a never in a good light. In the first book it is because it is implied they were cruel towards Tamlin, and in the following book it is because they helped in murdering Rhysand's family.
What I think is an important detail in this respect is that Baile and Aletris never have any specific abusive/cruel act tied to them. Everything they do is an extension of their father, whom I will refer to as Elvin (also from my fiction).
Elvin is the one who was said to be worse than Beron himself, whom we know actively tortures his eldest child. Elvin is the one who is specifically said to have abused Tamlin, taken him and introduced him to Amarantha, and was the one who orchestrated the killing of Rhysand's family.
Baile and Aletris are only said to have been complicit in the abuse and murders. They weren't the ones who started it.
We also know that Tamlin was favored by his mother, and in Lucien's case, we know that favoritism from his mother caused Lucien's brothers to resent him. The same can be said for Tamlin.
As the youngest and their mother's favorite. There was some subconscious resentment towards Tamlin already, which would have fueled their dislike for him.
So, now to what you're probably thinking. Chaotic, why are you listing all this about two unnamed characters who are spoken of like twice in the books?
Because I believe that Tamlin's relationship with his brothers runs deeper than what we are led to believe it is.
(Too note, I do not believe SJM will actually plan anything out in regards to Tamlin's past relationships, these are my personal theories)
Tamlin ran for the War Camps the second he could to escape his abusive situation. As the youngest and the third spare son, he has more freedom than that of his elder brothers. As they are more likely to inherit the throne. Especially Baile, as the eldest.
Like we know with Eris, he is willing to put on a mask of pure cruelty, even to Lucien whom we know he has a weak spot for.
I think it is similar with Baile, and Aletris.
We don't know what happened in the Spring Court manor when Tamlin wasn't present, we barely know what happens when he is there.
We don't know if Elvin tortured Baile and Aletris. We do know he mistreated his wife and abused all his sons. Possibly Baile the worst, as the eldest of Spring.
Which leads me to wonder if their relationship was always so cruel. Could it possibly have been tender but soured with time? Did Baile and Aletris actually want to go with Elvin to kill Rhysand's family, or were they forced too? Was their cruelty for their own sadistic pleasure or out of built up trauma and eventually blowing up?
Imagine, times when Tamlin was a small child and Baile letting him try to put on his armor and barely being able to pick up the breastplate. Baile putting his helmet on Tamlin's head and Tamlin falling over from the weight of it, laughing.
Times where Aletris taught Tamlin to climb trees effortlessly. Knowing where to put his foot and how to pull himself up. Showing him how to get up to the secret treehouses he and Baile built when they were younger.
Times where Elvin was on a rage, and Baile, Aletris, Tamlin and their mother hid in a closet, trying to wait for the storm to calm. Baile and Aletris exchanging stupid jokes and made-up funny stories to make their little brother laugh and cheer up their mother.
Times where Aletris and Baile taught Tamlin sword fighting, how to hone his fighting abilities and how to tame the feral beast he had. How to use his wild side to his advantage.
Times where Baile ruffled Tamlin's hair and called him "Feral kid.
Times where Aletris picked up and threw Tamlin over his shoulder whenever he came back from the war camps to prove he could still pick him up like when he was a baby.
Times when they would all sit on the rooftop and watch the stars, dreaming of a time when none of them had the responsibilities they had, and simply lived as peasants tending to their own personal lives.
Times when tenderness abounded, and they still had softness between them.
Before it was choked out by times when Baile would snap and rage like their father, and Tamlin would hide.
By times, when Aletris would throw things and they would shatter and cut his youngest brother.
By times when they would make fun of him relentlessly until he was sobbing. Insulting everything about him until he broke.
By times when their father beat him and they did nothing but watch with cruel laughing eyes.
By times that were bitter and cold and hateful, that overshadowed the good times they once had.
I think Tamlin and his brothers have a deep, complicated relationship. I think it would be reflected in his grieving, from going from hating them so ruthlessly and glad that they are dead.
To seeing their names engraved into the trunks of trees and breaking down into sobs about their death.
To seeing the scars still their from their abuse.
To seeing the armor that Baile left him.
To remembering the hateful words that he still carries.
To remembering the stories Baile and Aletris made up in that closet.
Their story is messy, frustrating, miserable. It's also tender, comforting and warm.
It will never get closure, because they died before Tamlin could even try to reconcile with them. The chapter will never close and Tamlin will always be left with the grief of losing his siblings.
The blood of the covenant may run thicker than the water of the womb. But nothing will ever feel the aching emptiness of Tamlin's lost sibling love.
@tamlinweek
62 notes · View notes
ducktracy · 5 months ago
Text
there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
1K notes · View notes
sweetlullabyebye · 1 month ago
Text
Charles' thing is that he wants to feel alive and that's part of the reason why he decided to never move on to the afterlife right? Meanwhile Edwin thinks Charles will move on and that he'll be alone again because 'he isn't good with people'.
But then when the Night Nurse shows up a second time Charles is ready to go wherever -including Hell- as long as Edwin shouldn't have to go back there, meanwhile Edwin refuses that they be split up, and both are okay with being sent together to the Lost and Found Department to be sorted out later as long as they're together-
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
236 notes · View notes
willthespy · 6 months ago
Note
Valgrace? But like in the sense that Leo is cupioromanic and they kiss, cuddle and call each other things like ‘babe’ platonically
‘This is my best bro Jason!’ Jason is covered in cartoony kiss marks
Pride Month Day 05 - VALGRACE
did somebody say…queerplatonic valgrace….
Tumblr media
Jason is drawn shirtless bc scars obviously… I have a whole Jason resurrection AU in my head i just need y’all to ask me about it. also def note the kiss on one of the scars!!! that was on purpose!!!
To anyone unaware (yes, here we go AGAIN), I take suggestions to draw a queer/trans/aro (lgbtq+) character or ship every day for pride month. Anyone can suggest any ship, character, etc. (headcanons or not.) No proshipping obviously. You can always request multiple times! Don’t hide your pride… (ALSO SEND MORE SOLANGELO REQUESTS…. I KEEP SAYING THIS BUT CMON GUYS… REMEMBER WHO WE ARE….)
278 notes · View notes
xxplastic-cubexx · 20 days ago
Text
it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
104 notes · View notes
ryllen · 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
this PSA is brought to u, by first year farmer ・゚ *✧
2K notes · View notes
help-im-a-gay-fish · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Darkcream week 2024 day 1: Eclipse
AND WE'RE BACK BABY!!
And this is dramatic, lol. It's based on a tarot card design. I have no idea what the context of the scene was I just thought it was a cool design.
Soooo ta-da?
Hope you enjoy
Original shattered dream belongs to galacii
Original cross jakei95
Original Dream by jokublog
Dark cream week by @zu-is-here
324 notes · View notes
writer-room · 8 months ago
Text
Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.
Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#lego ninjago#dragons rising#bonzle#finders#cole#cole brookstone#geo#fritz#spitz#text post#angst#talk#LISTEN TO ME#COLE LOST 2 WHOLE FAMILY MEMBERS DURING THAT BLOOD MOON#HES GOING TO NOT BE OKAY!!!!!!! HES DOING SO BAD#mans is a FATHER and he PROMISED he'd keep his kid safe. he promised it to the OTHERS#and hes going to have to walk back up those steps and admit to being a LIAR and a FAILURE#hes not obviously sht just went sideways but you KNOW he blames himself#geo very worriedly stayed behind w fritz & spitz FULLY TRUSTING that cole would keep bonzle safe & bring her back#he loves him so much (in a gay way. u know it to be true) so he trusts him IMPLICITLY to keep them safe. hes done it before#can you imagine the HORROR when cole comes back and hes...alone. with no one else but the other ninja (minus 1)#geo realizing what happened before the kids. the way everything just freezes and drops. cole curled so tight in on himself#and cole cant say hes sorry because he cant even look at them. he lost family hes had for over a decade & a kid he claimed his own for year#you saw how he was w child wu. you saw how desperate he was to keep bonzle safe. AND KAI IS GONE TOO???#homeboy is having the literal worst day ever. imagine him trying to tuck fritz & spitz close while on one knee trying to explain it all#and bro jsut feels like hes literally the worst person in the world#something something 'you dont get to stay with the ninja & be happy. i tried to protect you from what hurt me as a kid'#'and instead your right in the thick of it'
134 notes · View notes
katiefromcabin7 · 4 months ago
Text
currently thinking about how in middle school i downloaded a Percy Jackson app and it turned out to just be an app filled with Jercy fanfiction and i was so confused because for some reason i thought i was downloading a Percy Jackson game lol
dose anyone else know what i’m talking about because it was so strange
66 notes · View notes
gwinwe · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
oh gus we're really in it now (btw this is available as a print!)
340 notes · View notes
witchinatree · 2 months ago
Text
making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it
(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)
episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice
i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)
episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement
this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶
episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement
the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them
episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement
augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin
episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement
i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!
episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles
i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy
episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia
STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you
episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"
RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry
episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam
they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material
episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice
does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.
episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen
dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard
episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice
she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her
episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen
each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(
episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement
theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh
episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway
episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers
episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen
episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1
episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive
episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(
episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.
episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.
episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full
episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3
episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over
episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY
episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO
episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude
episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭
episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.
#honorable mentions:#“canaries should stay above ground” because holy shit (1)#“i don’t scare so easy these days” because oh my god its our celia (7)#“i like them”/“of course you do” because weeping weeping weeping (8)#“oh no not again! oh the horrors! nooooo” that one was just really funny and not exactly part of the episode (9)#“can he read?” (10) bc it enforces the gwen/jon parallels (“you dont sound?? russian??”)#“the deep will care for his bones” (11) it creeped me out and i loved it#“the cover had this awful comic sans title 'mr. bonzo's on his way'” (12) comic sans font was so funny it almost made it not horrific#“I have a baby. Jack. He’s just over a year old now.” (13) like BARNABAS. i know him.#“The only drama is the dilemma of how I could possibly get by without you all to myself!” (14) alice.... alice....#“Oh no! Who keeps taking Georgie’s face?!” (18) SHE'S BACKKKKKKK#''I swear if I hear one more word about Trevor-bloody-Herbert MP I am going to blow up Parliament.'' (27) because WHAT LMAO??? WHATTT#''when I first awoke I knew nothing nothing but the dream of things that sliced my who from me with claws like scalpels'' (30) i cried#''They’re gone Alice. They’re gone.'' (30) tweaking#''What happens now? You push me? Stab me? Or do I need to jump in myself? Come on what’s stopping you?'' (30)#can i just put the whole episode in honorable mentions too atp.#''We are the hilltop. It is me and I am it and we are. We are…'' (30)#''Yeah sure. Sorry to bother you. Goodbye Alice.'' (30)#okay i'm done#i can't i .. i ..#the magnus protocol#tmagp#magnus protocol#tmagp spoilers#tmagp season 1#the magnus pod
26 notes · View notes
902186 · 6 days ago
Text
we dont have enough fanart and fanfics about sauron in numenor. im begging for scraps im manifesting im sending signals to the universe
12 notes · View notes
lokh · 7 months ago
Text
oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
46 notes · View notes
pebblezone · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
💞
163 notes · View notes
thedawningofthehour · 2 months ago
Text
I had a dream where Bella was babysitting the Mutant Mayhem turtles (I haven't even seen MM but okay) and took them to like a bath house? And Raph was being a little shit to her and she wasn't having it, I remember that. And then she lost one of them on an elevator and had to run up and down the stairs trying to figure out where they got off.
And honestly that part is correct if this was a sitcom there would absolutely be an episode where Bella lost one or all of the kids and had to scramble to find them before their dads came back.
9 notes · View notes
rubenesque-as-fuck · 3 months ago
Text
Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??
But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!
But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?
Tumblr media
#stoned ramblings#life of faye#i swear I'm not as sad right now as this makes me sound just kinda lonely is all#work bonus#boss also said that if i wanted to take on more responsibility we could talk raises as well#and like most days I'm done by like 1 so it's not like I'm wildly overworked as it is#I'm going to set some aside for fun stuff and the rest is going in my savings#i am finally FINALLY trying to build up a savings again#it's probably a silly dream but I still want to save up for a house#so what else can i do but try and save?#rent's gone up so damned much everywhere that for somewhere halfway decent it costs about as a mortgage to rent anyway#the only reason my rent is semi-managable is because I've been here for 8 damn years so they haven't been able to drive it up as much#other apartments here start at hundreds more per month for new tenants#so i feel like I'm stuck here until i can afford a place#my one real hope is that I inherit enough from my midwest grandma when she passes to make a good down payment somewhere#sometimes to torture myself I like to go look at houses that I think are in my approximate realistic price range if i could cover the down#i want a yard for velma#i want to be able to open my blinds and/or windows and not feel like a whole apartment complex's worth of people can see me#i want a kitchen where all the burners work and I have enough counter space to work#i want a dryer system where my apartment doesn't get filled with warm wet air when the neighbors are doing their laundry#i want to do nude gardening#and have backyard bbqs with friends#i want enough dedicated space to do art that i don't constantly have to shuttle the easel around the living room and up and down the stairs#all pipe dreams i know#but hey the grandma did say that i was one of her three main inheritors in the will#so we'll see#just to be clear she has not passed but she's nearing 90 and keeps talking about it so it's hard not to think about you know?#anyway these are the sorts of things that i would talk about if I had someone to cuddle on the couch and talk to about my day#texts to nobody
15 notes · View notes